It is interesting how friendships change and evolve over time. Often those changes come when we have changes within our individual lives. The true test of a friendship is whether or not it can last through changes that happen along the way. When changes occur in our life or the life of our friend can we adapt and accept the change that it could bring to our friendship. Are we willing to make sacrifices that could be required in order to keep and maintain that relationship? Are we willing to except those changes and know that our friendship may not be the way it was before? Are we willing to swallow our pride and selfishness to maintain our friendships? The true test is learning how to change with the changes that come our way.
Throughout my life some of my friendships have been faced with changes and challenges. I have had to learn to adapt and change when the lives of my friends have changed. One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is how to accept those life changes when I myself so desire to be where they are in life. When a friend gets married and we are still single we desire to know that same joy that they are experiencing. What we do not realize is how marriage can change a friendship. But as a true friend we must learn how to adapt and be happy for our friend’s new life and learn how we fit into this new life they have.
The same is true when our friends have babies. A baby brings on a whole new dynamic and while our friend is experiencing this new chapter in our life it is hard to see where we now fit in. This summer a good friend of mine had a baby and while I am extremely happy for her it is hard to know where I fit in. I have had moments where I wonder do I fight for this friendship or not. My friend’s life has forever been changed and she herself is not the same person she was months ago before the baby arrived. I also wonder what I can offer her the fact that I have not kids yet. Do we still have things in common? The hardest part is learning how to except the fact that she has a baby when I myself desire to have a baby. I have struggled with feeling jealous and accepting these changes that are happening in her life. How do you put aside your own wants and desire for the good of the friendship? How do you change so that you can still have a friendship with your friend? How do you be a friend when you have feelings of jealousy toward your friend and you fear that things between you and your friend may never be the same? My prayer is that God will show me what kind of friend to be and to learn how to accept those things that I cannot control. And to understand that my friends needs are not the same as they once were. I need to learn to reach out and be the one that bridges the gap in where our friendship is now.