Monday, February 11, 2013
I didn't know it would feel like this
When my husband and I started out on our TTC journey I was full of optimism and perhaps a little too excited for my own good. I was not prepared for the emotions I would feel when we were not successful at conceiving. I was not prepared for the feelings of sadness and disappointment that I would experience when my lovely monthly visitor showed up. I had worked myself up to thinking that for sure this would be the cycle that we would conceive. But to my disappointment it was not. My heart is truly broken.
I have always known that I wanted to be a mother and anxiously look forward to the day that God blesses us with our little miracle. I just hope and pray that this journey is not a long one. I am not sure if I could deal with disappointment month after month.
Yes, I know it has just been one month of trying, but when you want something so bad and your heart longs for something so deeply it is still disappointing when it does not happen.I am slowly starting to realize just how much of a miracle life is. Perhaps this is God's way of helping us to truly appreciate the children He blesses us with. If it were an easy process then I do not think we would be as appreciative for the gift of life.