Lately I have had a lot on my mind. It is hard not to get caught up in those thoughts and let them rule the way I feel. One struggle I am having right now is that I would love more than anything to have a baby. But circumstances being what they are we have to wait until my husband finishes school before we can have kids. At times it is terribly hard to wait. It makes it especially hard when every time I turn around someone is having a baby or finds out they are expecting. It is so hard to not let my emotions get the best of me and feel sorry for myself because I cannot have what they have. So I am in this constant battle with my thoughts and fighting to stay positive and to be thankful for what I am blessed with right now.
What makes it harder is that I feel like I am alone in this. My husband knows I wants kids and reassures me that one day we will have some, but I do not think he fully understands the longing and yearning a women feels to have children. I am convinced that men do not have the same sort of "biological clock" that women have otherwise I think they would have just as strong a desire to have children that women have. So for now I guess I am alone in my thoughts. I will try and be patient until the time is right. And I will try to not let my thoughts dictate my feelings and emotions.